


Take your hand off the glass

by realisticromanticbuthopelesslysingle



Category: Shameless (US)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 19:46:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2400686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realisticromanticbuthopelesslysingle/pseuds/realisticromanticbuthopelesslysingle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's late and I'm tired, exhausting days require Ian and Mickey fluff</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take your hand off the glass

"Mick, you awake?" 

There was silence from the other side of the bed but Ian knew Mickey was awake.  Mickey was pissed off and he always had trouble sleeping when he was pissed.

"I know you're awake Mickey but it's okay, I know you're pissed.  I'm pissed at me too.  I don't know why I did it, really I didn't even want to. I just...it was like my head was...fuck I don't know."

Ian huffed and folded his arms, next to him Mickey bit his lip but remained silent and continued feigning sleep.  

Twenty full minutes passed with both boys lost in their own heads.  

Ian was praying he could find a way to explain his actions while cursing himself and thinking he didn't deserve Mickey's forgiveness.

Mickey was telling himself it had nothing to do with him not being enough for Ian, that this wasn't Ian sending a passive aggressive message and was instead a fucked-up part of his brain.

Ian was the one to break the silence.  "It's like I'm not me sometimes.  I mean I'm me but like a glass version of me.  And my brain just keeps tapping on the glass until it breaks."

Ian sighed and ran his fingers through his hair feeling like he wasn't making any sense. 

"I'm so fucking sorry Mickey," Ian continued talking as quiet tears fell down his cheeks "I never ever want to hurt you, you are everything to me.  I know I don't deserve to keep you Mick but...I want to anyway, please don't say you're done with me."

Ian hated how his voice cracked at the end but he was desperate.  Mickey had walked around the house for two days in silence.  Two whole days without saying a word to Ian.  Even when he climbed in bed beside him at night he simply turned his back to Ian and closed his eyes, like Ian wasn't even there.

Ian's heart began to race when Mickey finally rolled over to look at him and spoke.

"When I was 6 I was outside pissed off about something my dad did.  I started throwing rocks and accidentally hit Mandy in the head. Course she forgave me, but when I tried playing with her she refused, said just because she forgave me didn't mean it stopped hurting." 

Then Mickey turned back over, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

***

It had been 5 sad days and 5 lonely nights after Mickey's comment that Ian and Mickey spent in silence. Existing in the same space was not at all like living together.  Ian could feel himself crumbling and decided once again to break the silence as they lay in bed the fifth night.

"I know I should walk away Mick.  You deserve better than me, better than this fucked up brain disease.  I think about it you know, walking away so you can start your own life. I just love you too much, and I know it's selfish, but I love you too much to walk away. "

Mickey sighed and turned to face Ian before speaking, "I can deal with mistakes Gallagher, fuck knows how many I made.  I just can't figure how someone who likes talking so damn much wouldn't at least talk to me about what was going on.  It's like you think I can't handle the serious stuff. If I can stand up to Terry and his bullshit for you I'd like to think you can trust me to deal with the real shit instead going off the rails and fucking any asshole who comes along."

Mickey started to turn over again but Ian stopped him.

"You're right Mick and I promise I do trust you. I messed up so here it is, right now." Ian paused before continuing "Mickey, I'm going off the rails without you.  Every time you pass me without looking at me I want to break.  When you smile and talk to everyone else but get quiet when I come in I can feel my glass start to fracture.  Each time we lay side by side without touching my brain tells me you are done, that you are walking away.  I  miss you Mickey, I need you back."

Mickey brushed his fingertips across Ian's face to wipe away the tears and placed a soft kiss on his lips.  Ian sighed and whispered "Mick" with a throat full of emotion.

"I'm here Ian, you're ok...we're ok.  Tell me how to help you."

"I'm scared, I'm scared that cheating on you was just my first mistake. I'm made of glass Mick. I think about using my hands to break the glass. You would be free of me and I wouldn't hurt you anymore.  I could shatter my glass self into a thousand pieces and all this would be over."

Mickey pulled Ian in close and smirked, "You ain't hurting me Firecrotch. You made a mistake is all, and you ain't hurtin' yourself either, not on my watch."

Ian sighed "I'm trying Mick, I promise."

Mickey lifted Ian's face by his chin and looked at him with a small smile, "Hey, that's why I'm here.  I'll always remind you to take your hand off the glass."

Ian mirrored Mickey's shy smile as their lips met and they wrapped their arms tightly around each other looking forward to their future. 


End file.
